I've started seeing someone new, and he's genuinely rather good. At the very least, he provides all the emotional support I need.

What's more, he clearly told me that if I could manage the child on my own, there'd be no need to ask Chris (my ex-husband) for help.

And I've realised he truly understands me.

At the very least, when he's around, I can be capricious and brimming with confidence. Alas, we haven't been in touch for nearly a month now. Yes, I admit I bear some responsibility for that.

Before, whenever Chris upset me, I could talk to him and he'd comfort me. He cherished me. But recently, he's been seeking his own marital partner. Chris is still looking for the child too, but I've realised something: no matter who I meet, no matter how happy the people around me seem, But if the child's father causes trouble, it inevitably affects me.

I've come to realise that no matter how happy I am, I shouldn't let someone like him into my life. Because I simply can't deal with someone who holds such values.

Here's what happened: he called this afternoon saying he wanted to take the child to Chimelong in Zhuhai for a two-day trip. I said that was fine, but he wanted me to come along too. My view was that he should book two rooms. That seemed perfectly reasonable to me. But I didn't offer any suggestions; I just wanted him to take his child. And I, at the very least, could try to find my little boyfriend.

I really do care about the details and the attitude. In the end, he said that if I didn't go to Chimelong, the whole trip was cancelled. But he wanted to see the child, yet he wasn't willing to take an hour on the underground. He wanted me to take him there. Perhaps because my father doted on me from a young age, no matter what time it was or where I was, my father would always pick me up. Whereas my child's father falls short in both material and emotional provision. It strikes me that one's childhood truly shapes their entire life. He's a pitiful man, and my child is pitiful too. So I refuse to subject my child to this misery. I told him bluntly, ‘With that attitude, you won't be seeing them.’

I seldom speak like this, so I truly dislike this state of affairs.

One must truly safeguard one's own state of mind. Reflecting now, how can I ensure my child doesn't feel deprived of paternal love, while also sparing myself such distress? I thought that having received such abundant love in my own childhood, I could naturally radiate that warmth to others. Yet here we are today—I've persisted for five years, matching my child's age with my endurance. It simply won't do. So I'm no longer accommodating them to arrange meetings. Instead, they may only meet when conditions are satisfactory.

My precious little scatterbrain, it's time to start cherishing myself properly~~ A good mindset, good emotions, good health – naturally, good fortune follows~~ And thanks to my new, fair-skinned boyfriend, I've been dressing my child beautifully, buying lovely, adorable clothes. His company this summer has been truly wonderful, I can be myself again~~ That clingy, high-pitched-voiced, spoiled version of me, the one who loves receiving flowers and gifts, the proactive me. More importantly, in his company, I perfectly understand my current state and what I lack~ He's handsome, adorable, cool, and thoughtful, while genuinely caring for me~ He lets me be my own wayward self~ Hahahaha

Thus, sometimes, meeting the right person makes you blossom. He shows you through actions and words that it's time to cut ties with unpleasantness and truly cherish yourself~ Of course, I know our time together is fleeting, so I'm giving my all to love him. Not that I'd say I have no regrets, but rather, this person—my fair-skinned, cool-toned one—has joined the roster of companions in my life.

His place is rather high, for he has helped me become a better version of myself.